


Only Time Will Tell

by loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS



Series: Plance Through The Years [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A little messy, Angst, Break Up, F/M, Incompatible Futures, Lance likes two girls, allurance breaks up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 23:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS/pseuds/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS
Summary: There's only one thing you can do when your futures are incompatible.





	Only Time Will Tell

**Author's Note:**

> i can’t watch s8 until saturday night since I’ll be travelling, but i needed to write this one, so here’s my last fic until next week probably
> 
> some angst (because angst is good for the soul!)

Allura really liked Earth.

After all the strange stories she’d heard from Hunk, Pidge and the others about Earth and humans and other strange things like Kalteneckers with horns and the animals who could turn you into vampires by sucking your blood and that historical novel Twilight which was just _ghastly_ , she’d grown very interested in visiting the planet. Despite its limited technological advancements, she still believed it would someday be interesting to see the place that her friends had raved about for so many deca-phoebs.

And Earth was everything and more once they’d finally won the war.

The relief efforts took a lot of time and ample energy, but once they had managed to get the world back in shape, she finally was able to see what it was that made the place so beautiful. Although she didn’t particularly enjoy the unbearable heat of the sun at times nor the limb-numbing freezing temperatures of winter and she was absolutely terrified of those metal boxes called cars, she loved sunsets and the blend of purples and blues and orange that painted the sky. She loved the Galaxy Greenbacks on every corner of every block of every street and she greatly enjoyed the crazy musical concerts Pidge and Keith would take her to.

(Who knew that the two of them were huge fans of death metal? It scared her, but Allura did find the vocal capabilities of the singers enrapturing.)

But for everything that was completely different from Altea, there was something else much too similar that it brought a sharp bout of melancholy to her heart. Of the most heartwrenching were the stars. Seeing the stars at night reminded her of her home and watching the stars from the roof of her father’s castle.

The longer she was on Earth, the more she felt desperately homesick.

And she could see a similar type of homesickness in Romelle and Coran. Finding out that there were still Alteans who were alive and that her people had not perished in Zarkon’s unfortunate regime only brought a stronger wave of that homesickness.

And now that their jobs were done and they had saved the Earth, Allura couldn’t help but wonder if something was missing.

Don’t get her wrong, she was very happy. Her work on Earth brought a sense of accomplishment and she had all her closest people surrounding her each day and Lance was an impossibly sweet boyfriend dead set on making her experience on Earth the best it could be.

But a part of her deep down knew she wasn’t satisfied.

Lotor did so very many many things wrong and his deceit was atrocious—he was an asshole, Shiro had said—but one thing she could appreciate about her short romance with Lotor was that it had opened her up to learning more about Altean culture. About discovering more about her history and her capabilities and who she was. But above that, it had connected her with her father in a way she would have never expected. Learning the secrets of Oriande and gaining the ability to utilise Altean alchemy had only been a small fraction of what she could do, and though she’d put aside her interests in continuing her exploration of her culture in favour of focusing on the war, now that all that was in the past, her curiosity had sprung up even more intensely than before. The war was over.

And yet… she was still on Earth.

She was still going through each day with the rest of the Terrans, letting her interests in her destiny fester in the back of her mind, unforgotten, and only making her grow restless with each passing day.

But she didn’t pursue because of one deviation from her original plan.

And that was her relationship with Lance.

He was happy in his environment, surrounded by his family and enjoying rain and ready to settle on Earth for good and move on to the next chapter in his life. And try as she might to settle the way Lance had, Allura didn’t feel comfortable. She had too much left unanswered and so much more she could be doing, especially with the remaining Alteans. For one thing, she wanted to begin a search because if those Alteans existed, who was to say there weren’t others in pockets of the universe wanting and waiting for Altea to return.

And with each passing day, an ugly feeling of resentment began to bloom in her chest. Not just towards Lance, but the rest of the paladins who all seemed to have found their place and were ready to settle into new roles in life. Even her fellow Alteans weren’t in the same place. Coran could adapt easily. While he missed Altea just as fiercely as she did, he clearly enjoyed his work on Atlas and as “alien consultant” for the Garrison. Romelle had always wanted to explore life outside her colony, so she felt no sense of urgency.

But all Allura did was open wormholes to aid in exploration, all the while wistful because she wanted to go back out to space one day and finish what she’d started.

And maybe possibly rebuild Altea to create a new planet for her people.

To be honest, she would have probably remained silent, smiling all the way and living a somewhat stilted life on Earth, but she knew her main reason for staying was to be with Lance.

To see where they could go.

To see if he was truly the one fated for her.

Except… lately she’d been having doubts about them.

He had never given her a reason to suspect he wasn’t sincere in their relationship, but there was something not right. And while Allura could see herself maybe falling deeply in love with him given enough time, she didn’t know if she could say the same for him.

His mind was in the relationship, but his heart wasn’t. Her heart was in the relationship, but her mind wasn’t.

And that wouldn’t work in the long run.

There was a certain level of incompatibility in their relationship that could not be ignored.

An incompatibility that years down the line would only result in heartbreak and possible arguments and utter pain. Which was why she’d decided it was time to end things sooner rather than later, when the level of heartbreak wouldn’t render them incapacitated. She regretted not being able to see their potential, but she couldn’t lie to herself anymore that this was going somewhere serious.

And so she’d made up her mind to let him know on their next outing.

Lance had been eager to take her on a walk through the same park they’d had their first date, only now it was completely covered in snow and shining brilliantly as if some sort of winter wonderland. This wasn’t the ideal location at all, but it was time.

“I was thinking next week we could go ice skating or maybe take a ride in a carriage,” Lance said with a smile. “It’s not my favourite weather, but I admit it’s a beautiful season. But the warmth is better. And I can’t wait to take you to Varadero in the spring so you can go to the beach—”

She grimaced the slightest bit. “Lance.”

Her tone must have been a bit sharper than she intended because he stopped walking and a wary look slid into his expression. “Are you okay, Allura? Is it too cold outside?”

He took her hands in between his and rubbed them gently. Allura swallowed hard, her chest aching as she stared up at him. Lance was so sweet. But this was around the time relationships became more serious, and if he was already making plans for her to come to Cuba to meet his family, then this had to end.

“Better?” Lance asked with a small smile.

“Lance, I’m not cold… I just…” She sighed and slid her hands out of his. “We need to talk.”

She saw the exact moment an anxious discomfort grew in his gaze.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he remarked slowly, though she could tell he was trying to remain chipper. “Don’t tell me you’re breaking up with me or something.”

Allura inhaled shakily, chewing on her lower lip because she didn’t know what to say.

Lance’s brows went high on his forehead and the look of disbelief that crossed his face made her heart break.

“…Y-you’re breaking up with me.”

It was a statement, not a question.

And when she didn’t deny it, his expression morphed and grief crawled into his eyes.

“Th-there’s something off, Lance,” Allura said.

“What do you mean? We’ve spent pretty much all our time together and we get along really well. Our relationship has been amazing!”

“That it has.” But she couldn’t find it in herself to smile. Her throat felt tight and the words she’d tried to come up with for this talk went flying out the window the more she kept looking into Lance’s distressed face. “But we’re… I feel like our paths are diverging. When you think about your future, what do you see?”

“What?” Lance looked confused. “I mean, I see what I’ve always seen. Retiring from being a paladin. Settling down and making a life on Earth.”

Allura nodded. “It’s a lovely vision for your future. And you deserve to find peace after how difficult the last few years have been. But it’s yours. And only yours.”

Lance didn’t respond, though he was listening to her with a grave look on his face.

“I don’t… There are no good ways to put this, Lance, but I _don’t_ want that. I don’t want to settle on Earth and I don’t want to spend these next few years out of place on a planet that I can’t find a true connection with. There’s so much I don’t know out there and there’s so much I still want to explore. I have a planet to rebuild, more people to find and guide as a monarch. So many responsibilities that will fall upon my shoulders, and… and I need to be out there.”

She waved her hand vaguely to the sky.

“…I _want_ to be out there, Lance. It’s calling out to me and every day I spend cooped up here is another day I feel like I’ve lost part of myself and—”

“You think I’m holding you back…” Lance near whispered, the pain in his voice unmistakeable.

Dread filled her at his words.

The last thing she wanted was for him to feel like any of this was his fault. They were going separate ways, but there was nothing about their relationship that she found unpleasant.

“Never! Absolutely not, Lance!” she said emphatically. She reached out and took both of his hands and tried to ignore the way he tensed at her touch in a way he never had before. “I just need to explore my destiny so I can accomplish my goals.”

“I don’t see what the issue is then! You can still explore your destiny and we can both make it work.” He was starting to look frustrated, a frantic look in his eyes and she got the distinct impression he was trying to hold on to the last few strings of their relationship. “We have to give it a shot, Allura! You can’t just run from this relationship at the first sign of trouble.”

“I’m not running, Lance. For the first time in so many months, I’m _finally_ not running from what I need to do to accomplish _my_ goals. You’ve reached your goals, Lance. But I haven’t. We have incompatible futures and there’s no way to rectify them.” Allura let go of his hands when the shock from her statement left him slack jawed and he pulled away from her. “I don’t want to hurt you, Lance. But I don’t want to be hurt by you either. I’m not budging on my stance.”

“Allura, I’m sorry if I hurt you.” His voice broke and the anguished blue of his gaze was too much to look at. “Just tell me what I need to do and I’ll fix it!”

“We had a good run, Lance.” Allura’s eyes welled with tears. “And you’ve been a marvellous emotional support and boyfriend to me, but I think it’s time for us to call it.”

Lance looked like he was being torn apart from the inside out and she hated to do this to him, but she knew she had to. She’d enjoyed her time with Lance. Really, she had.

But she wasn’t oblivious nor was she naïve.

And she wasn’t going to set aside her ambitions to stay on Earth for a relationship that was missing devotion.

Lance was not truly in love with her, and though she knew sometimes love took time, they’d been dating for nearly half a year and she was still waiting for that _moment_. That magical moment that told her this was _it_. Lance was a very handsome, kind young man and the way he put her at ease warmed her heart, but… she could make the same case for Coran or Shiro or Hunk or Keith or Pidge or Romelle. All her friends brought that same kind of warmth in her heart. She was no stranger to falling in love, considering she had burned rubber with how quickly she’d fallen for Lotor’s charms. But what she felt for Lance wasn’t quite there yet. Hadn’t quite reached there in all this time and she honestly didn’t think he would reach there either.

“I know you wanted to take me to Varadero one day to meet your family, but Lance, I think that special trip should be reserved for someone you’re actually in love with.”

His eyes went wide like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What are you talking about, Allura?! I’m in love with _you_ and—”

“Maybe so, Lance,” Allura interrupted him sharply, “but I’m not the only one in your heart.”

Lance opened his mouth as if to refute her statement but she gave him a pointed look and he held back his words. To her disappointment, he sighed in resignation and his shoulders slumped. As much as it pained Allura, she appreciated the fact that he wasn’t blindly denying things they both knew were true. Lance tended to wear his emotions on his sleeves and while she understood he was making an effort not to show her, she could see his feelings for Pidge in the little things.

His blushes when Pidge smiled at him. The elated grins when he talked about their video game playing sessions. The way Allura would catch his gaze lingering on their friend whenever their group hung out. How subdued and stoic he got whenever Pidge talked about her boyfriend.

But that _odd_ moment between them she’d witnessed on his 21st birthday months ago had solidified her belief that there was something not quite right about Allura’s relationship with Lance.

“I’m not going to tell you how you feel,” Allura continued when Lance still hadn’t said anything, “but maybe you built up this enormous fantasy in your head of what it would be like to be in a relationship with me, but now that we’re together it’s not shaping up to what you wanted and that’s why you’ve fallen for Pidge.”

He frowned immediately. “Don’t _ever_ say that. Everything we’ve been through and our whole relationship has been everything I wanted and more, Allura. I’ve never once felt like our relationship was anything less than what I wanted. And my place has always been with you. You bring out the best in me, even when I can’t find it in myself. We can’t give up on us. Look, if you want to leave, I’ll just go with you too and we—”

“Can you really, Lance? Can you really leave your grandparents and mother and father and siblings for several, several years again with little to no communication? Can you really accept leaving and missing countless years of your niece and nephew’s life only to return to see them grown up? Can you honestly say that you would be happy leaving life on Earth again all for the sake of a relationship?”

He swallowed hard though he looked like he couldn’t think of any words to say.

“Lance, I know you don’t want this to be our end. I don’t either, but I don’t think at our current place it will ever work. We have far too different desires out of life. Our paths will always diverge irreconcilably.” She stepped forward and cradled his cheeks in her hands. Lance brought his own hands up and clasped them gently around her wrists. He looked broken and it was hard to see his usually vibrant face so damaged. “And I can’t do this to myself. I know you would never do anything to make me feel any less loved, but I owe it to myself, Lance. I can’t be with someone who has feelings for another girl. And I ask that you not disrespect me by lying to me and telling me you don’t.”

Lance sighed raggedly, looking so apologetic and so ashamed of himself and so guilty that for a small moment, anger pricked her heart. “You’re right.”

Allura had gone into this knowing what was going to happen if she confronted the issues, but hearing those words still cut her deep. It cut her so deep and no amount of preparation could have ever prepared her for hearing him agree with her. She’d initiated this breakup, but following through with it was more emotionally taxing than she had ever believed it could be.

“You see, Lance? It’s another gamble I… I am not willing to take. Not after everything with Lotor. I don’t want my heart broken again…” she whispered, her voice breaking as a small, unhappy sob left her lips. She’d been hoping to make it out of this conversation without feeling like she’d ripped her heart out of her chest, but she had some genuine feelings for Lance and it hurt her that she would lose him. It hurt her and angered her that he’d been distracted by another girl. “And I don’t want to have a front row seat to watching you fall in love with someone else while _we’re_ together.”

“It’s just a small crush! It’ll go away.” But even he didn’t look too convinced.

She shook her head, dropping her hands from his face. “But it hasn’t in all these months, and it has been unpleasant for me, Lance. It’s not selfish for me to want to have you all to myself.”

Lance looked appalled. “You don’t deserve what I put you through at all.”

“You didn’t put me through anything horrendous. I know you care about me and I know it wasn’t on purpose. You can’t help who you like.” Allura cringed a bit. “I would know, considering I fell for a deceiving, megalomaniac prince.”

They fell silent for a few tense seconds. Lance seemed like he was thinking hard about something, but ultimately, whatever he’d been considering, he conceded.

“Allura… I’m sorry.”

And those two words felt like the final nail in the coffin. Somehow, she got the sense that he wasn’t just apologising for getting a crush on Pidge.

He was sorry that they couldn’t last.

He was giving up.

It was over.

“I’m sorry too.” Allura let out a shuddering breath, though she squared her shoulders and tried to put a brave face on. Tears were fighting to drop from her eyes, but she refused to let them. “I hope we can remain friends, Lance.”

“Just what every guy wants to hear during a breakup,” he partially joked, though his smile wasn’t quite right and he could barely keep his voice from wobbling.

She smiled a bit. “I mean it. You have been an irreplaceable crutch and emotional support for me when I was at such low places and nothing can ever change the fact that your care for me had a profound impact in the way I’ve chosen to continue on with my life.”

That at least earned her a small smile back. “Do you think it’s because of a timing thing? Because we aren’t ready to be together yet?”

“I’m not sure. You’re someone worth holding on to, Lance, but years down the line, I wouldn’t know if I would want you to be there as a friend or as the man I call my consort.” Allura wrung her hands together. “And that breaks my heart. Because I should know, right? I should be able to look at you and see you solely occupying a romantic position, but I can’t. Not yet, anyway. I might years from now, but…”

“There’s no guarantee.”

“And I can't compromise on something like this. And I refuse to let you either.”

“Okay.”

They held each other’s gazes for several long agonising seconds where Allura questioned if she was making the wrong decision. If she was ruining something that could be good. That could be lasting. But there were too many obstacles in the way right now and though it pained her, that would always be a point that would divide them.

Lance reached out and tugged her gently into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder, the fabric of his sweater gripped tight in her fists as her heart wrenched tight in her chest.

“So this is the end?” he murmured, rubbing her back to console her, though she could feel him trembling.

“This is the end…”

And she couldn’t help the swarm of tears falling from her eyes as the dam finally broke.

Maybe years from now they might realise they had been right to be with each other all along, but right now they couldn’t work as long as she wanted to continue her work for the Alteans and as long as Lance had feelings for Pidge.

Only time would tell.


End file.
